QUESTION

I’ve been told I have to “Lead Without Authority” – how can I make others listen to me when I’m not in charge of them?

ANSWER

Helpful tip: they don’t always listen to you when you are in charge of them!

As adults, we will do what we want. We can label it as doing what we think is right, but at the end of the day, we do what we want. We are more successful when we are persuasive.

You don’t have to be a ‘person of influence’ to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of what they’ve taught me.
— Scott Adams, American cartoonist and author

Persuasion is the art of winning people over to our ideas or proposed course of action. People who are persuasive have influence. They can read the emotional currents in a situation. They can adjust what they are saying to appeal to the right person, with the right message, at the right time.

We can nag, coerce, and chase—but those approaches have quickly diminishing returns. The ‘Holy Grail’ of persuasion, then, is to get others to buy into the idea, and want to do it your way. And the best way of doing that is in a way that others don’t notice. But how?

We can keep our promises, be reliable, generate solutions, and take responsibility when it counts. We can be sincere, genuine, honest, interested, and entertaining. Maybe we are one of those things, maybe we are a few of those things.

The key skills for successful persuasion, then, are pretty wide. People who are persuasive appear confident in themselves and others. They are motivated by the belief their ideas will succeed. They speak with clarity and purpose. They understand their audience because they empathize, listen, and build rapport.

All of these wonderful characteristics fall short if we aren’t organized. Knowing ourselves and our subject inside and out helps when we speak with people who have various needs; it helps us connect. We need to have taken time to organize ourselves and think about what outcomes we want to achieve.

Becoming a trusted friend or colleague takes time. Develop these skills, and we start to develop ourselves. Our innate power and authority to influence others stems from our self-awareness, unique knowledge, and belief in what we’re saying. Once we have that, we are likely to be much more effective driving results with others by persuading them, whether at home or at work.

Here is a simple mantra to repeat the next time we confront someone we find challenging: use my head, have a heart, and lend a hand.

Logic is helpful for organizing facts and developing arguments.
Emotions connect dialogue or decisions to our feelings of well-being or sense of belonging.
Cooperation involves seeking advice and offering assistance. Collaborating to accomplish a mutually important goal extends a hand to others.

These tactics can be used indirectly or directly.

Applying the Indirect Approach

This approach is a familiar one for most of us because we are saving the main idea for the conclusion. We are leading the other person through a storyline, providing background to a conclusion. This is effective with people who are:

Uninformed and require context or details
Receptive to our idea but need a little convincing
Disagree with our idea but willing to hear us out
Analysis oriented

The indirect approach allows people time to become acquainted with us, our organization and our message before we present our recommendation or request action. If dealing with people who disagree with us, it gives us time to find common ground.

Applying the Direct Approach

Here, we lead with the “bottom line” and “executive summary.” We state the main idea at the beginning of the message. This approach is used for audiences who are:

Informed and require little context
Receptive to the message
Can handle bad news
Results-oriented

The direct approach emphasizes the results of our analysis. It does not focus on the steps we took to get there. Starting with the point helps people pay stay focused and give us their attention. It may save time, choosing whether to skim sections of the message, read it carefully or reserve it for reference.

Determining the Approach

A framework adapted from Alan H. Monroe in the early 1960s called “motivated sequence” can help us think through how to apply direct and indirect approaches. Comprised of five steps, it starts with a focus on the benefits of the idea to the result we anticipate. They are Attention, Need, Satisfaction, Visualization, and Action.

Attention: The goal is to capture reader interest and present the benefit of the proposed action you are recommending. For example, if you are proposing to move a deadline up significantly, highlight the benefits of an earlier date.
Need: Summarize the details or define the boundaries of the problem. Prove that the problem is urgent and important. Using the example above, we can cite limitations of a later launch date (cost, competition, etc.), rather than gaining early traction with customers.
Satisfaction: Share how our solution will eliminate the problems we have identified. Prove the proposed course of action has worked in similar situations. Address objections or alternatives that might come up. Demonstrate how other solutions are less attractive in comparison with our proposal.
Visualize: Help others see how they will benefit from our proposal. Point out the potential consequences of alternatives. Provide the advantages realized from a decision to follow our advice.
Action: Provide clarity for the next steps. Most people forget this important step. Confidently state the actions we want. Reiterate the benefits they can expect. Be firm and specific. We should never assume that people know intuitively what actions to take. The result should be an agreement to an earlier launch date.

MORE THOUGHTS…

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing. — Albert Schweitzer, Alsatian polymath, theologian, writer, and physician
People exercise an unconscious selection in being influenced. — T. S. Eliot, American essayist, publisher, and literary and social critic
It takes time to persuade men to do even what is for their own good. —Thomas Jefferson, American statesman, diplomat, lawyer, architect, and 3rd U.S. President
I hold that a strongly marked personality can influence descendants for generations. ― Beatrix Potter, English writer, illustrator, natural scientist, and conservationist
If you're trying to persuade people to do something, or buy something, it seems to me you should use their language, the language they use every day, the language in which they think. We try to write in the vernacular. ― David Ogilvy, American advertising tycoon, founder of Ogilvy & Mather

REMEMBER

Persuasion—the ability to win people to our perspective—comes down to an ability to adjust. We adjust ourselves to provide the right message, to the right people, at the right time in order to more effectively connect and drive results with others. Developing these skills develops ourselves—specifically, our self-awareness, unique knowledge, and belief in what we’re saying.

PRACTICE

Use your head, have a heart, and lend a hand. Organize information that appeals to attitudes, values, a common purpose, ideals, and beliefs through inspiration or enthusiasm, while collaborating to accomplish a mutually important goal.

CONNECT

Talk to a friend or trusted colleague about how building and maintaining relationships have played a role in your development.

REFLECT

If you keep a journal for your own development, write your thoughts about when you last persuaded someone effectively. What head-heart-hands tactics did you use? Do you use them all equally?

To perform well while under pressure, we need to train our minds to work more effectively. Making the right decisions, whether that is hashing out how artificial intelligence will evolve or ensuring naval ships are ready on time takes practice.

Driving Results With Others: A pocket guide for learning on the job enables you with all the tools and tactics you need to make your interactions less stressful and more effective.