Best Practice Series: 10 rules for story telling for deeper engagement, start with yourself

This week I’m captaining and moderating some panels for an event that is growing in popularity here in Seattle - Women in Tech Regatta, founded by Melody Beringer.

The term vulnerability is used a lot at the start of every talk, and is one of the defining characteristics of the conference. The term risks being overplayed against the backdrop of popular self-help books. But when people pause long enough to tell stories about real difficulties and struggles they have had in their careers—that kind of authenticity gives the audience pause. Some of the stories I heard in previous years, from senior leaders, both shocked and inspired me—so much so I’m getting involved.

The lesson here is that you don’t need to be a panelist at an event to share deeply and connect with people. That kind of engagement is needed at all levels of the organization, all the time. It takes practice. You need to practice stillness to find the stories you want to tell and you need to recruit witnesses to hear them. This is something I’m working on myself as I craft my own message about my work.

Photo by Nong Vang

10 Rules For Story Telling For Deeper Engagement, start with yourself

While the environment contributes to the tenor of a conversation, how you show up in that moment matters, whether you like it or not. It’s the difference between a hurried, canned, recited speech, or a speech by someone who is present, pacing well, and feeling into their words.

Effective leaders know that telling a story is the most effective way to connect with people—whether it’s one-on-one or a full room. Here are ten things to consider when you are looking to engage.

1. Use stories selectively. Stories activate the listener’s imagination and emotions by conveying a real or imagined human experience. That is their particular strength and limitation. Use stories for what they’re good at and don’t overload them with data, analysis, opinions, argument, etc.

2. Listen before you speak. Know your audience and what it cares about. You can be challenging if that is what’s called for, but people are more likely to pay attention to what you have to say if you begin by acknowledging the realities of their situation. Good storytelling is a two-way process.

3. Aim carefully. Think about the point you want to make and what effect you want to your story to have and choose a story that illustrates your point in action. An audience works out the point of a well-told story for themselves because it gives them a vicarious experience for their imaginations, and emotions to work with.

4. Make it personal. The story does not have to be about you. In fact, it’s often more persuasive if you make someone else the hero or heroine. But you do need to find a personal connection with the story, which might reveal your part in it or be as simple as letting the audience know how you are touched, inspired or affected by the events you have recounted.

5. Make it real. Stories are always about particular characters doing something specific at a certain time in a particular place. They are essentially about how characters meet the obstacles that thwart their desires. Bring your story alive with concrete descriptions, 3D characters, dramatic moments, humor, and passion.

6. Learn the story, not the words. Avoid the common error of killing a story by writing it out or reciting it from memory. Make sure you know how the story works: the sequence of events and key turning points and trust your innate ability to find the words. Practice telling it aloud and get feedback from a colleague.

7. Connect with the audience. When you tell your story to an audience, use eye contact, both to see and be seen. Your relationship with the audience moment by moment is your best support, even if you are nervous. The power of your story comes as much from your mutual connection with the audience as it does from the words.

8. Use simple language. The ear favors informal, straightforward language. If the audience has to spend its energy untangling complex sub-clauses and trying to make sense of unfamiliar jargon, it won’t get the point. Tell the story in your own words and avoid clichés like the plague (for real).

9. Let the story do the work. Do listeners the courtesy of allowing them to make sense of your story for themselves. Resist the temptation to tell them its moral or what it means. Tell it with conviction and it will stand for itself.

10. Remember we are all storytellers. Stories are how we make sense of our lives and always have been. There have been civilizations that have flourished without the benefit of the wheel, but none has ever been devoid of stories or storytellers. If you can tell a good story, you’ll always have a willing audience.

Book Shelf: Steal Like an Artist

Overview

• To nurture your creativity, follow these 10 tips: First, understand that all artists steal from material that inspires them.

• “Don’t wait until you know who you are to get started.” Self-knowledge comes from creative action.

• “Write the book you want to read.” If you’re stumped creatively, work on whatever is the most fun.

• “Use your hands” to get the physicality back into your creativity.

• Your work and your interests can meld to create something totally new, so “side projects and hobbies are important.”

• When you “do good work…share it with people” online. Find inspiration on the web.

• “Leave home.” To be creative, you may have to hit the road.

• “Be nice,” because the world is so small now that, more than ever, manners matter.

• “Be boring.” A routine and a paying job can fuel your creative work.

• “Creativity is subtraction.” Cull what’s unnecessary, and leave what’s brilliant.

Key Points

• Why an artist’s creativity comes from other people, places and things; and

• How to use 10 ideas to nourish your creativity.

• There are no new ideas, only new combinations

Recommendation

Artist and poet Austin Kleon writes in an accessible, breezy, conversational shorthand. Few of his sentences run longer than eight words, and his message is simple: Learn all you can, develop a library of influences and never stop believing in your own creativity. His best advice to artists – get out of and stay out of your own way – recurs throughout the book in various forms, and Kleon offers simple, effective methods to do just that, organized as 10 creative spurs. His little sketches and profound, often humorous quotes from great thinkers and artists from across the centuries feature throughout this pocket-sized guide to unleashing your inner Picasso. While Kleon’s unchanging tone can feel a bit precious, it's still worth carrying his guidebook around for boosts of creative confidence and doses of friendly, workable commonsense advice.

Summary

Creative License

Artists and creators throughout history have known that, as Pablo Picasso said, “Art is theft.” Every innovator has built on the work of others, using ideas, formats or things in fresh and exciting ways. Originality doesn’t exist. Everything is a confluence of influences, thefts, mutations and interpretations. Even the Bible says, “There’s nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). Whether you’re an artist or you’re simply looking to add some creativity to your life, consider these 10 ideas:

1. “Steal Like an Artist”First, start by looking around for something worth appropriating. If copying, altering or borrowing it has no value, look for another inspiration. Regarding the world through the prism of “Is it worth stealing?” will keep you from wasting time wondering if something has intrinsic or aesthetic value. What matters is whether it serves you. And it needn’t even help you today. Remember what you reject; you might want to pinch it “tomorrow or a month or a year from now.”

“Every artist gets asked the question, ‘Where do you get your ideas?’ The honest artist answers, ‘I steal them’.”

Once you acknowledge that what you create will never be unique, any fear of owning and accepting your influences will vanish. You are the sum of your family genetics and of your “genealogy of ideas.” You choose the experts you listen to, the music that moves you, the books that stimulate you, the art that speaks to your soul, and the movies you must see again and again. These influences, along with a variety of others, shape your artistic identity – your creative roots.

“You are...a mash-up of what you choose to let into your life.”

Don’t try to learn the entire scope and legacy of the art you hope to make; you’ll drive yourself crazy with overload. Pick “one thinker – writer, artist, activist, role model” – who profoundly affects you. Learn all you can about that person and his or her influences. Study those influences and learn who influenced them. “Climb up the tree as far as you can go.” Once you’ve climbed high enough, create your “own branch.”When you’ve established your set of creative ancestors, honor them. Regard yourself as the continuation of their work. Put photos of the artists you love around your workspace. Select what you want these artists to teach you and ignore everything else. Read as much as you can. The books you start out with may not help you immediately, but they will definitely take you to the ones that will help you the most.

“Your job is to collect good ideas. The more good ideas you collect, the more you can choose from to be influenced by.”

Always carry a pen and paper to write down whatever occurs to you wherever you have an idea. Never be self-conscious about it – you are making yourself smarter and more observant. Note the conversations people are having as they pass by. “Copy your favorite passages out of books.” Photograph what catches your eye. Maintain a “swipe file” – a notebook or tape recorder or cellphone in which you store the ideas you steal from other artists and from the world around you.

“The great thing about dead or remote masters is that they can’t refuse you as an apprentice. You can learn whatever you want from them.”

2. “Don’t Wait Until You Know Who You Are to Get Started”

You may not fully know yourself, and if you expend all your energy navel-gazing, you never will. Self-knowledge derives from action – creative action. Nobody can tell you where “the good stuff” springs; it comes from being present and doing your work. Think later – work now.Behaving like a writer or a musician or an artist will get you to your own style, so “fake it ’til you make it.” Practice makes perfect. Emulate those who inspire you, but don’t slavishly copy their work; because people aren’t able to imitate anything perfectly, the results you get will be uniquely yours. Try to understand your idols’ motivations and worldviews. If you can see the world through their eyes, you’re on your way to getting to the heart of creativity.

“You are only as good as the stuff you surround yourself with.”

3. “Write the Book You Want to Read”

When writers wonder what to work on, other writers or teachers often tell them, “Write what you know.” That is the worst possible advice. Never mind what you know – write what you’d like to read. Write what makes you smile when you read it. Write what makes you want to read more and write more. If you’re stumped creatively, pick whatever is the most entertaining to you – not the hardest or the most profound, but the most fun.

“Don’t worry about doing research. Just search.”

For example, indulge in “fan fiction”: Come up with the sequel to a popular movie or book. Compose your favorite band’s next album. Study your inspirational gurus’ work and figure out where you’d make improvements or additions. “Do the work you want to see done.”

4. “Use Your Hands”

Work produced on a computer is too abstract. To experience all the joy and knowledge that comes from creating, you must use your hands. “You need to find a way to bring your body into your work.” Your brain learns from your body just as your body learns from your brain. Pick up your drumsticks or your paintbrush or your welding torch or just your pen and paper – get the physicality back into your creativity.

“Your morgue file is where you keep the dead things that you’ll later reanimate in your work.”

Author Austin Kleon’s first book was a collection of poetry he made by blacking out lines from newspaper stories with a marker. That gave him full tactile engagement with his materials – cutting newspapers, wielding the marker, combining two different lines to make a third – thus following the crucial creative formula, “1 + 1 = 3.”

“If I’d waited to know who I was or what I was about before I started ‘being creative,’ well, I’d be sitting around trying to figure myself out instead of making things.”

Try making a workspace with two sides, one “analog” and one “digital.” Your computer and electronics live on the digital side. All the work you do with your hands – which can include writing drafts in longhand or drawing cartoons – happens on the analog side. Keeping these worlds separate nourishes your creative impulses.

5. “Side Projects and Hobbies Are Important”

The things you do when you’re avoiding activities you think you’re supposed to be doing will invariably turn out to be your most important work. That’s why you should never restrict yourself to one project at a time. The activity you pick up to distract yourself from your main work may be what your heart most desires. When you have several projects going on at once, you can “practice productive procrastination” on one by working hard on another. And “if you’re out of ideas, wash the dishes.”

“Nobody is born with a style or a voice. We don’t come out of the womb knowing who we are. In the beginning, we learn by pretending to be our heroes. We learn by copying.”

Don’t ignore something you’re passionate about to focus on something else. Your work and your interests can meld to create something totally new. Don’t discard what moves you, including hobbies. A hobby is creative work that won’t bring you money or fame, but “it makes you happy.” If you like to play the guitar, for example, go jam with your friends on weekends. All these aspects – your hobbies, passions and procrastinations – are manifestations of your creative self. “Don’t worry about unity – what unifies your work is the fact that you made it.”

“Your hands are the original digital devices. Use them.”

6. “The Secret: Do Good Work and Share It with People”

When you toil in obscurity, you get to make all your mistakes in private. Plus, you can do whatever you want. Work hard at your art every day. You will get better. And when you do, share it. At one time, you had to find a gallery to show your art or a club that would let your band play or a magazine that would print your articles. Now it’s simpler: “Put your stuff on the Internet.”Sharing your work online requires two steps: 1) “Wonder at something” and 2) “Invite others to wonder with you.” Think about things and ideas that move you or are on your mind. If nothing’s on your mind, don’t worry: You will find ideas to discuss simply by putting yourself out onto the web. The Internet is a potent “incubator” for work you may not even know you’re about to start. Some people fear that going online will drain their creativity, but it’s more likely that the Internet will inspire you.

“A hobby is something that gives but doesn’t take.”

Absorb and learn all the necessary technical web skills. Create your own website; learn about social media and blogging. Spend only as much online as makes you comfortable. If you don’t want to share your full concepts, instead offer some tips or links to help others. Don’t worry about people poaching your ideas: “You can share your dots without connecting them.”

“You don’t put yourself online only because you have something to say – you can put yourself online to find something to say.”

7. “Geography Is No Longer Our Master”

Location means little today. The world is your world, and the world you make is the world people come to visit. No matter where you live or how alienated you might feel from your surroundings, a community of like-minded souls is only a click away. If the physical world discourages you, create your own realm. Fill your area with art, movies, music and books that make you feel whole. “All you need is space and time – a place to work, and some time to do it.”And whether you’re ready or not, you eventually have to “leave home.” You must shed your normal routine and most-loved places to go spend time around people who don’t think like you. Going to new places makes you new and makes your “brains work harder.” As for where to go, “bad weather leads to better art,” so consider someplace where the summers are hot and steamy or the winters are dark and cold. Find a place where artists, writers and filmmakers congregate. It helps if the local cuisine rocks. “You have to find a place that feeds you – creatively, socially, spiritually and literally.” And, wherever you go, your online community will still be there.

“Freedom from financial stress also means freedom in your art.”

8. “Be Nice”

The world is so small now that, more than ever, manners matter. If you speak poorly of someone online, they will know it all too soon. To crush your online enemies, pretend they don’t exist. To gain new buddies online, say something kind about them. If somebody makes you mad, don’t respond; head for your workspace and let your anger fuel your work. Find people online who are “smarter and better than you,” and, when you find them, listen to what they’re talking about. If, over time, you come to realize that you are the smartest person who’s doing the best work, find somewhere else to hang out.

“In this age of information abundance and overload, those who get ahead will be the folks who figure out what to leave out.”

You will go through long stretches during which no one will care about anything you do, say, build or post. To get through those lonely days, create a “praise file.” Keep emails or tweets or notes that say nice things about your work. Delete anything unkind immediately. Save your praise file for a day when you’re feeling down or discouraged. Then read through all that wonderful encouragement – and believe every single word.

9. “Be Boring”

The biggest problem with pursuing the myth of the self-destructive artist is that, sooner or later, you will self-destruct. Your energy is precious. Apply it to your art, not to burning yourself out.Taking care of yourself also means taking care of your finances. “Do yourself a favor: learn about money.” Track your expenditures. Keep away from credit cards, expensive coffee and fancy electronics. If you can’t make a living from your art, employment will keep you sane and properly disciplined: “A day job gives you money, a connection to the world and a routine.” If you cover your expenses, you never have to compromise on your art for money. You can create what you want until your work is so good you can live off the proceeds of selling it.But how do you find time for your creative pursuits if you have a job? Surprisingly, a routine helps you be more productive, because a schedule lets you identify the finite amount of time you have to devote to your passions. Diligently work that period of time every single day, even on holidays or when you’re ill. Soon enough, you won’t even notice you’re working.

10. “Creativity Is Subtraction”

Paradoxically, restrictions – even conceptual ones – can focus your creativity. Author Dr. Seuss took on his editor’s dare to write a children’s book using just 50 different words; Green Eggs and Ham is now a classic. Cull what’s unnecessary from your work, but leave what’s brilliant. Use what you have now to create. Cut back on your most ambitious ideas. Less is more.

About the Author

Work by artist and writer Austin Kleon has appeared in The Wall Street Journal and on PBS NewsHour and NPR’s Morning Edition. He is also the author of Newspaper Blackout.

Thought Series: What smooth jazz can teach us about innovation

Thought Series provides actionable ideas and anchors for reflection on your life or your work.

Kenneth Bruce Gorlick (Kenny G), in addition to playing the longest sax note, has sold 48 million records. There are those that will say other artists are more authentic or talented. However, there is no denying he was doing something right–forty-eight million records. He revolutionized jazz by creating a boiler plate template. Others did this too, he was just more successful at it.

Smooth jazz as a construct, brought money into the jazz industry like it had never seen. Kenny G was the best selling jazz musician of all time. His template, along with some best selling albums, created a money printing machine. He invented, for lack of a better metaphor, the $25 WordPress template for the music world. This probably makes Thelonious Monk the broken, non-deployable web site that you continue to go back to time and time again–because his is work just that good.

The template created a low barrier to entry–for the customer. While technically very gifted, there’s little that is controversial or thought provoking about his work. His music is appropriate for any venue: a wedding, getting the kids to nap, an elevator…. When Kenny G was popular other artists opted for the template in order to make money.

Among music fans, the question gets tossed around: If it’s so ubiquitous–so everything to everyone–is smooth jazz really jazz?

Right now, we are in the era of “smooth design” and “smooth products.” This translates to “smooth leadership.” Everything is very clean….very Apple-esque. It’s acceptable to everyone. It works. But, it isn’t interesting.

This happens with leadership too. “Smooth leadership” is when the leader opts for industrial model, plug-and-play tactics proven to work (from their pantheon). GE‘s calibration system was popular for a while, so Ballmer adopted it for Microsoft. It worked (said no manager, ever). It served a purpose from an operations perspective, but ruined cultures.

What do you get from smooth leadership? The same products you had before, only more efficient, cheaper, using less resources.

Up until now, a CEO was doing a good job if the company met its financial targets, the Board was happy and shareholders were rewarded. The formula of getting a good education and landing a good job continued to play out, further supporting the conveyor belt relationship between education and industry. Leaders implemented traditional business school formulas for economic success, profits increase. This myopic association reduces education to a mere employment agency.

But after a while, the job gets route. People start to feel a void every day at the office. Employees, go through the motions, doing just enough to earn a paycheck so they can find some contentment in life outside the office. The job starts to feel like factory work—precisely what our parents and grandparents wanted us to avoid!

But when is a product or brand going to stand up and be Jimmy Hendricks (only 24 million records)? or Prince (only 39 million records)? and say, “I’m willing to sell half as much, but I’m going to be unique.” This attitude made him a legend.

There is no “Kenny G experience.”

There is a very definitive “Jimmy Hendricks experience.”

The wheel doesn’t need to be reinvented in every job. This isn’t about “creating great art” or being the “Jimmy Hendricks of product development, UX, or leadership.” This is about trying to innovate within a space, versus allowing the space to dictate the boundaries.

New ideas belong on a canvas, not constrained by a box.

TO CONSIDER:

1. Are the ideas in your organizations doing something useful or different?

2. Is creativity coming in last in the execution queue?

3. The easy way is not necessarily the best solution.

“But, Apple did X. Google did Y.”

Perhaps, but these companies initially took risk and were innovative in order to achieve their simplicity. Don’t confuse ubiquity with being unique. They were unique and became ubiquitous. To follow them is to simply ride the coattails of what has come before and hope for crumbs of their revenue.

We are trying to get people through the funnel so fast, that we aren’t engaging them (as customers, employees, suppliers). Even if you are tied up in the data, the bounce rates always come back to “what is the story we are trying to engage them in?”

So take a stand – what story are you in?

Thought Series: The need for creative questions

INNOVATION /CREATIVITY

Thought Series provides actionable ideas and anchors for reflection on your life or your work.

Other disciplines make for great inspiration and sources of inquiry.

In a diner, for example, food needs to hot and fast. There is no room for personal expression.

But, consider modern art on large canvas. Why do we eat food on plates which are determined by plate manufacturers and not chefs?

And, think about how smells influence us. What if you had salt, fat, sweet, protein….and nostalgia?

Experimentation is key, but costs time and money. What if you took your slowest night and everything on the menu is an experiment, getting the customers to participate in your discovery process?

What if what fed you in your gut also stimulated you in your mind?

Grant Achatz is an American chef and restaurateur often identified as one of the leaders in molecular gastronomy or progressive cuisine. In 2007, Achatz announced that he had been diagnosed with stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma of the mouth, which may have spread to his lymph nodes.The chemo process temporarily took his taste buds.

Alinea Revisited – A Life Worth Eating “The dish never got boring. Since this was a shared dessert for three people, each person picked and played with different combinations of ingredients making every bite taste different. This is the most memorable dessert I have ever had.”

Responding to what would have potentially crushed others, he prepared dishes by drawing them first and handing them off to his staff to interpret. “It’s not in here (the mouth), it’s in here (the mind).

Slowly regaining his sense of taste one flavor at a time revolutionized his ability to create.

At what point do you break out of the rules that go you where you are, and start to express your own point of view? 

At what point will you destroy what you know to begin a new train of thought? 

Thought Series: Creativity is about combinations

INNOVATION & CREATIVITY

Thought Series provides actionable ideas and anchors for reflection on your life or your work.

FREDRIK HÄRÉN, AUTHOR OF THE IDEA BOOK HAS A VERY ELEGANT EXPRESSION FOR IDEAS. HE SAYS, “IDEAS ARE WHEN A PERSON TAKES KNOWLEDGE AND COMBINES IT IN A NEW WAY.” IN FACT, THERE ARE NO NEW IDEAS. NOT REALLY. ALL IDEAS ARE NEW COMBINATIONS OF ALREADY EXISTING THINGS.

You don’t have a climb a mountain and wait for an idea no one has ever thought about. When you learn about something new, you combine them into something new. The newness is your uniqueness. It is the sum of your values, beliefs, ideals, motivations and traditions that guide your ability to learn and even your identity.

Angry birds. Genius.

What ideas are you playing with?