GOOD HUMANING: Start in your own backyard

Photo by Annie Spratt

It’s so easy to comment on other people’s yards, isn’t it?

But insight, the kind that broadens who I am as a human being, is gained internally, first. Starting with my own weeds of pride, aggression, self-denigration, etc. is where I need to begin. The trick is doing it with compassion.

If I were tending a garden, I would see these weeds for what they are. I would be more neutral about tending to them. They grow, I tend.

What would it look like to understand them with compassion?

Compassion is the ultimate and most meaningful embodiment of emotional maturity. It is through compassion that a person achieves the highest peak and deepest reach in his or her search for self-fulfillment. --Arthur Jersild

That gives me something to strive for, the well-tended garden—but doesn’t show me how to be compassionate toward myself. Seeing the flaws is not the problem, it’s treating them with kindness, being the wise gardener to the garden plot.

A well-tended garden needs

…to be embraced for the kind of habitat it is.

…to be tended, with neutrality. (weeds grow, some weeds are noxious)

…to know that all habitat needs good stewardship.

…imperfection is part of the process of growth.

…supportive friends, coaches, therapists, partners help to tend, tend, tend.

---

This post-series is about trying to anchor my experience by exploring within and reminding myself about what it means to practice "good humaning." It's about moving forward imperfectly. To follow this thread in my posts, look for these tags: #NotesFromMyYogaJournal

GOOD HUMANING: DON'T CHOKE YOUR DREAMS

A primary principle of Buddhism is the idea that one’s self-absorption leads to suffering. When we hold our focus lightly, we are happier.

My grandfather had a similar piece of advice when giving me pointers on my non-existent golf game, “Hold the club like a small chick, never squeeze too hard.”

I think of that often, as I try to loosen my grip on goals or beliefs I might be holding too tightly.

…getting out of debt.

…publishing “on time.”

…reaching my “number.”

…believing that I am right.

I know that when I hold on to any of these goals too tightly, I am holding myself back.

---

This post-series is about trying to anchor my experience by exploring within and reminding myself about what it means to practice "good humaning." It's about moving forward imperfectly. To follow this thread in my posts, look for these tags: #NotesFromMyYogaJournal

Good Humaning: Between joy and pain, pick patience.

Whatever happens today, or in my life, I can’t give way to reactivity.

Patience and compassion with where I am at lay the foundation for a healthy perspective.

/This post-series is about trying to anchor my experience by exploring within and reminding myself about what it means to practice “good humaning.” It’s about moving forward imperfectly. To follow this thread in my posts, look for these tags: #NotesFromMyYogaJournal

Good Humaning: Don't expect applause.

Don’t do your work for applause.

If you count on receiving credit for your work and good deeds you’ll never be fully satisfied. You’ll always want just a little bit more.

Just do your work anyway. You are the person paying attention when no one is watching, and that is enough.

GOOD HUMANIING: Learn softly

What would it be like to learn softly?

Instead of being like a cracked seed pod, what would it be like to be a fleshy bulb, nestled in the dirt?

/This post-series is about trying to anchor my experience by exploring within and reminding myself about what it means to practice “good humaning.” It’s about moving forward imperfectly. To follow this thread in my posts, look for these tags: #NotesFromMyYogaJournal

GOOD HUMANING: Don't just skim the surface

I try not to waste my time just skimming the surface in my work or in my relationships.

I don’t know how long I have, and I want my time and efforts to have impact.

/This post-series is about trying to anchor my experience by exploring within and reminding myself about what it means to practice “good humaning.” It’s about moving forward imperfectly. To follow this thread in my posts, look for these tags: #NotesFromMyYogaJournal

Good Humaning: Don't drown in envy.

Aristotle defined envy as pain at the sight of another’s good fortune, stirred by “those who have what we ought to have.”

Not only does envy make me miserable, it makes me wish misfortune on others. It is an abusive emotion any way you look at it.

If I look around me and feel any envy, it’s best to notice it when it’s a small emotion. If I ignore it, it’s full force will sweep me away.

/This post-series is about trying to anchor my experience by exploring within and reminding myself about what it means to practice “good humaning.” It’s about moving forward imperfectly. To follow this thread in my posts, look for these tags: #NotesFromMyYogaJournal

GOOD HUMANING: Expectations are trip wires

Expectations are trip wires and the root of all dissatisfaction.

/This post-series is about trying to anchor my experience by exploring within and reminding myself about what it means to practice “good humaning.” It’s about moving forward imperfectly. To follow this thread in my posts, look for these tags: #NotesFromMyYogaJournal

GOOD HUMANING: There is freedom in examination

Photo by Susanne Schwarz

Be fearless about knowing yourself.

Understand how you move toward freedom and toward suffering. This kind of self knowledge can give you freedom from getting hooked by the same people, the same behaviors that amount to little more than self-centered thoughts and emotions. They hook us because we expected something different.

/This post-series is about trying to anchor my experience by exploring within and reminding myself about what it means to practice “good humaning.” It’s about moving forward imperfectly. To follow this thread in my posts, look for these tags: #NotesFromMyYogaJournal