MIND THE GAP: WORKING THE WHEEL COMPONENTS
The space between where you are today and where you want to contains a lot of energy. When you are excited about the possibilities between Point A and Point B you take enthusiasm and motivation from this space. This is why understanding your starting point and setting thoughtful goals are useful. Increase your motivation toward these goals by assessing what skills you need to build.
When you are bored, plateaued, burned out, or stuck, the space between A and B is draining and overwhelming. When this happens, it’s time to pause and get some perspective.
The larger the gap, the more discontent you are. The smaller the gap, the more balanced you feel. Neither of these polls are permanent positions. There is no such thing as “balance” because there is no such thing as a human being in a steady state. We are not who we were yesterday and we will be different people tomorrow.
Need proof? What was your favorite band 10 years ago? Your favorite song? The best group you ever worked in? What values did you draft in that group? Are they still relevant? The things, people, and experiences that were important to us at 18, 28, 38, and beyond change. As time transforms our preferences and reshapes our values, we inevitably change who we are becoming as people. We are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished with learning and changing when we are in the present. Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert says our beliefs about what will make us happy are often wrong. The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you've ever been. The one constant in our life is change.
In order to better understand your gaps and the levers you need to pull in order to close them, you must have a personal development tool that helps you analyze your different life themes.
There are roughly six life themes that make up the most important areas of a person’s life.
Career. The career theme is related to your professional development. Your education and what you’ve chosen as your field of work is included in the career theme. Whether it’s just a job or you’ve found you’re calling, what you choose to labor over is a major contributor to your life’s happiness.
Wealth. Living in a capitalist society, most of us equate security with money. Since security is at the base of our hierarchy of needs (just above the basics of food, shelter, and clothing), how we perceive our financial state influences how happy we are.
Health. Health is the foundation of happiness and includes your diet, the quality of your sleep, and overall physical activity. Your commitment to self-care has a direct impact on your contentment and the contentment of those with whom you come into contact. Your physical activity directly impacts your brain functioning, decision making, and creativity. It’s critical to know where you stand with this particular category.
Wellness. Wellness includes your emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how you think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how you handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Wellness is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.
Spouse/Partner. Our primary relationships are some of the most important relationships we have during our lifetime. According to a 2015 relationship study in the UK, honesty, communication, and commitment are the three most important qualities in a partner-relationship. Our partner choice supports us through the good times and the bad.
Family & Friends. An 80-year Harvard study shows that quality of relationships is one of the most significant contributors to feelings of happiness. Relationships is the sum of your human connections and interactions including family and friends, loose connections and acquaintances.
Interests. Interests and hobbies help to relieve stress. They keep you engaged in something you enjoy. Hobbies give you a way to take your mind off the stresses of everyday life. Having a hobby can help your social life, create a bond with others, be a form of fun and recreation—or all those things! Your interests are important because you associate them with relaxation and pleasure. They are a welcome break from the responsibilities that often cause stress. Therefore, your level of commitment to personal interests factors into feelings of happiness.
Community Contribution. Volunteering is not about money. Volunteering is about giving, contributing, and helping other individuals and the community at large. People volunteer for an endless variety of reasons. Many people want to gain experience, acquire new skills, meet new people, or expand their network of contacts as a way to get a new job or start a career. Others just want to give back to their community, to help a friend or promote a worthwhile activity. They do it because it makes them feel good. Over the past two decades a growing body of research indicates volunteering provides individual health benefits in addition to social ones. Those who volunteer have lower mortality rates, greater functional ability, and lower rates of depression later in life than those who do not volunteer.
Spiritual Growth. This is a broad category encapsulating both religious and non-religious teachings both of which suggest that you are part of something bigger than yourself. Whether deepening your knowledge and practice through church, yoga, or meditation, how you believe you are progressing influences your level of contentment.
