Belonging is easy to manufacture—rituals, slogans, smiles that signal harmony. It reassures, but doesn’t guarantee substance. Mattering is harder to recognize. It often begins in discomfort, when a contribution unsettles what people would rather leave undisturbed. In classrooms, consulting, and workshops, I’ve seen the same pattern: meaningful work rarely begins with ease. It begins with the risk of being misunderstood.
Read MoreKamala Harris, reflecting on her early days as Vice President, wrote:
“Their thinking was zero-sum: If she’s shining, he’s dimmed… None of them grasped that if I did well, he did well.”
That line captures a pattern I’ve seen across industries. Leaders invite younger colleagues into the room—fresh energy, sharper skills, new perspectives. They call it collaboration.
But when that talent delivers, the dynamic shifts. Clarity, competence, or courage show up, and suddenly the “invitation” curdles into rivalry. The person meant to validate a leader’s judgment gets recast as a rival. What follows is predictable: withdrawal, sabotage, self-preservation over stewardship.
Read More
