Good Humaning: Your Mindfulness Teachers For Today

[embed]https://www.facebook.com/ascendpodcast/videos/965255853673711/[/embed]Start 'em young. <3 What a great example of "good humaning."

Good Humaning: Be in tension

There is a common example in yoga about the importance of holding tension. Namely, that we must inhale and exhale to stay alive. They refer to it as “riding the breath.”

And, I get that sort of literal example. I have to sustain the right blend of breadth and depth to advance in what I’m doing.

Athletes work to sustain peek flexibility and strength. Organizations move between local and distributed control, or of innovation and efficiency. In any of these examples, the goal is to balance the act of replicating success against the need to get to the next performance level.

And there it is, sneaking up on me: my comfort zone.

Too much effort on either side leads to lopsided outcomes. When I merely replicate what I am good I lean more toward efficiency and stagnate. When this happens, it’s an indicator that it’s time to start taking a few more risks and start innovating.

Easier said than done.

Finding tension in this sense is messy, unsteady, risky, and hard. It requires me to be highly focused. I have to find ways to manage my emotions of overwhelm, frustration, or even boredom in order to remain present and pay serious attention to the nuances of my work.

I have to learn to adopt a certain kind of stance, one that is relaxed with what is and what will be.

Good Humaning: What it is I think I'm up to...

Photo by Fernando Puente

In 2016, when I completed my research on Master Craftsmen, I was also recovering from painful leg surgery. I had many, many insightful conversations with my subjects. Some conversations were transformative and deeply influenced what work I chose, and how I went about my work. The most important lesson: craftsmanship rests on deliberate practice.

In 2017, I took up daily yoga around the same time as my physical therapy. There, I could take all my anxieties about changing my life’s course and the frustrations of my recovery to my yoga mat. My mat took a pretty big beating in those early months. I had many profound lessons within that 2×5 foot space. Without really intending to, I had taken up a practice and dedicated myself to it. Over time, my practice became very…deliberate. I also was able to make significant connections between what craftsmen and women were referring to by the idea of “showing up”, “meeting a challenge,” or “being deliberate” that I will continue to explore and share.

In 2018, I turned my attention to developing my business (something I had been doing the whole time, but now in a more focused way). I took many of the lessons I had learned and continued to work on them. And, as is typical with most learning, when I stopped going to yoga regularly and stopped writing and researching regularly, I started to forget some of what I had learned. I genuinely learned what I learned, but had not integrated all of my insights fully.

This blog category (NotesFromMyYogaJournal) is one of my practices for trying to anchor my experience by exploring from within and reminding myself about what it means to be human. Part of that work is re-learning what it means to be a good human or to do “humaning” well. 

I refer to “humaning” because I learned so much from my last few years of research, writing, and building my practice. Between learning and integration lies “the journey”, “the struggle”, “the gap.” Hence, this theme…and me sharing some of my own re-learning practice here.

Good Humaning: Everything is a conversation...everything.

Everything is a conversation…everything.

When things feel certain to me, solid, (if I’m fully present) I realize that everything is actually open and workable. This is instruction for learning in action, realizing that I don’t have to feel boxed in because there is always space for adjustment–on my side, their side, and even within the subject itself.

“…it’s just iron, put it back in the fire.”

“…it’s just software, rewrite the code.”

“…it’s just milk…”

Good Humaning: Examination doesn't mean analysis.

If I just think about awareness, of the mind and its thoughts, that isn’t the same thing as analysis. Examination is looking for something solid for the Ego to understand (a complex thing, concept, theory…). Analysis is about deconstructing that solid thing in order to understand it.

In the inertia of the day, I sometimes conflate the two, bypassing a thorough examination of something and going right to analysis.

There is tremendous benefit in slowing down to “just see.” My mind races with flashes of things I have to do, am behind on, would like to do better, regret not happening, excited about what is to come. My eyes dart around looking for something to focus on.

Then, I settle in. My breath steadies. My eyes land. My mind relaxes its grip on my thoughts.

Seeing the bigger picture is what makes for an empathetic witness. Empathetic witnessing of one’s own experience is what makes us human. Witnessing someone else’s experience is #GoodHumaning.

Good Humaning: Everything is impermanent.

In trying to anchor my experience by exploring within and reminding myself about what it means to be human. Part of that work is re-learning what it means to be a good human or to do “humaning” well.  To follow this thread in my posts, look for these tags:#NotesFromMyYogaJournal

Today, I’m thinking about the temporal nature of being. When we come into contact with a bit of experience, it can be painful, exciting, sad, euphoric, dread, hot, cold–any number of emotional and physical sensations. Each one of those experiences is impermanent.

At the time, they feel very real, even solid. But really, they are a passing memory. That horrible boss that made you nauseous before each 1:1 meeting? Gone, in the past. That amazing dinner party people still talk about? Just a memory. The searing pain from an injury? Just a hint of a scar left from that. The lightness of being that came with things going your way? Yesterday’s harvest of hard work.

When I think of these experiences one by one, I experience this open, unfixed quality–that my feelings of hurt, love, joy, regret–are all in my mind. My experiences are so vivid though, it’s tempting to think of them as solid objects I can touch. I really did have a wound, and now I have a scar–the very definition of change. These things aren’t as solid as they feel. Nothing solid is, in fact, really happening.

Ego is the warden of my mind-jail. Ego is what makes things certain, solid. It watches as the doors remain open while I sit in the cell, waiting for me to challenge it.

Everything is in a state of change, even if our minds cling to the wound when we see the scar.

Good Humaning: To go forward, you have to remember where you've been.

Amidst my posts on the more technical aspects of learning, or how technology is shaping our ability to learn, I'm going to also try to anchor my experience by exploring within and reminding myself about what it means to be human. Part of that work is re-learning what it means to be a good human or to do "humaning" well. :-)

I refer to "humaning" because I learned so much from my last few years of research, writing, and building my practice. In 2017, for example, as part of my physical therapy for recovering from ankle surgery, I went to yoga (almost) every day for a year. During that time, I was also in transition in my career. That community had many teachers and I experienced several profound lessons that influenced how I approached life.

And, as is typical with most learning, when I stopped going to yoga regularly, I forgot some of it. I genuinely learned what I learned, but didn't integrate all of my insights fully. Between learning and integration lies "the journey", "the struggle", "the gap."

Hence, this forum...and me sharing some of my own re-learning practice here.

As a someone who helps others with their personal and professional mastery, it sometimes feels hypocritical to share the knowledge of what they might consider doing, without also acknowledging that I'm right there alongside my clients with this work. There is no one up or one down when the topic is about learning to lean into one's whole potential--and I'm pretty clear about that. There is only the degree to which you are willing to be disturbed by your practice.

And so I start with: remembering The Basics.

The Basics, as I think of them, are:

1. Remembering that I'm lucky to be here, having found the work that I choose to labor over.

2. Maintaining awareness that this experience I on the planet is finite. I am not a robot that can be repaired for more factory work. I am capable of more creativity than I can ever use in a day. It's important that I make my work count.

3. Knowing that how I show up matters, whether I like it or not. Whatever I choose to do or not do has a result that I have to sit with.

4. Understanding, in the truest sense, that when I get too caught up in judging my own work or the work of others, I will suffer. Obsessing, something I am so innately gifted in doing, does not result in happiness.It always surprises me to relearn this simple fact: to go forward, you have to remember where you've been.

Good Humaning: Resolutions

As the year kicks off and everyone is in a flurry over their goals and resolutions, I find myself pausing and considering the word: resolution.

Finding resolve.

It means to: 

1. settle or find a solution to something.

2. decide firmly on a course of action.

3. firm determination to do something.

If you apply ALL these meanings to your last year, what is it you would settle, determine a course of action, and find the resolve to do something about?

I'm looking forward to cultivating interesting ideas on this page and understanding more about you as we figure those things out.

I'm interested, what did you learn about yourself or your work in 2018?